Reasons Why Alexandra Hates Twitter

Sometime during the easter of 2010 I finally decided to see what all the fuss was about and register with the new social networking fad… twitter. Shortly after I commenced use of this site, however, a number of things began to trouble me. If you would care to read on I will divulge the reasons behind my uncertainty.

Word limit. I do not like to be told what to do at the best of times. The twitter word limit rules with an iron fist. A website should not be allowed such strict regulations. This does not impress. I like to choose the lengths of my sentences at will. Facebook allows this, might I add.

Idiotic lingo. I am not a bird. Why would I tweet? I wouldn’t, that is the answer.

Twitter stalkers. It bothers me that strange women are following me. Their twitter pictures are suspicious. They appear to have forgotten to don t-shirts. Why are they following me? I don’t want them to.

Celebritweets. Why do all these famous folk have twitter? And why so many followers? The ramblings of most should have no place on such a platform. Misguided interest led me to the twitter page of everyones favourite childstarturnedrebelwithoutacause, Lindsay Lohan. One Lohan tweet caught my eye, in it the starlet states “the only “bookings” that i’m familiar with are Disney Films, never thought that i’d be “booking” into Jail… eeeks,” speaking of her recent experience of the legal system of the city of angels. This tweet is misguided.

Twitter conversations. These are confusing. So many @’s. This means I have trouble stalking people. Facebook provides a handy wall-to-wall function, I am confident this is entirely for ease of stalking. It is much appreciated.

Tweeting for the sake of tweeting. Although this does occur on facebook the epidemic seems to be more widespread on twitter. Twitter addicts appear to tweet constantly. This makes me think they are not busy people. This morning Fearne Cotton, of radio 1 fame, demonstrates that she is not a busy person by tweeting, “MORNINGGGGGG! Rubbish nights sleep last night! COFFEEEE.” Even if Fearne and I were the best of friends (we’re not) I’d be unlikely to wonder how she slept last night.

From Alexandra


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