The Green, Clerkenwell

Ladies and gentlemen you may have noticed that I have demonstrated an unforgivable lack of attention towards my dear Snacks n Such of late. This is most evident in this here post, which actually dates back to a meal I ate in October, when it wasn’t even winter yet. I hope you’ll accept my apologies, and we can resume discussing the snacks and pretend this never happened. Thank you.

And so we come to The Green of Clerkenwell which naturally errs on ‘gastro’ side of pub, as all London pubs now do. This gastro pub is blue, and has tried to be different with the addition of some downright wacky furnishings. All gastro pubs attempt to differentiate themselves with the addition of these ‘eclectic’ furnishings, unwittingly (and quite devastatingly) ensuring that they are nigh on exactly the same as all the others. A catch 22 situation indeed.

So at the Green you’ll find a hilarious stuffed animal head, and I’m pretty sure I remember a pommel horse for eating at. Possibly still damp with the sweat from PE lessons of times gone by. They also serve their roasties in enamel bowls. You know the ones, they’re white with a blue rim round the edge, with a few chipped bits for a rustic look.   All gastro pubs have them. They’re always chipped. At what point did all the foodie pubs come together to decide on this universal choice of plate? Must’ve been quite some planning involved.

Anyway, if we can for a moment look past the ingratiating ‘gasto-ness’ of this gastropub, we can have a look at the food. Here is the menu, as you can see it is a gastro style of Sunday lunch, with roasts and other gastro type dishes.


We began with smoked salmon and cucumber salad, because it is delicious. And it was delicious, but there’s not much cooking involved in that. I can make a delicious plate of smoked salmon at home. It was nicely arranged though, I suppose. We also had the house terrine (aka squished mystery meats). This was also rather tasty despite its vagueness.

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Next I opted for monkfish, which was served with chips and tartare. A gastro fish n’ chips, if you will. You can imagine my surprise and delirious delight when this arrived… an entire monkfish the size of a baby blue whale, topping a mountain of chips the size of which has never been seen before. But it wasn’t just the size of this meal that got me excited, oh no. The chips were amazing. Fantastic. Beautiful. Dare I say it… as good as Heston’s chips! The fish too was great, just marvellous.


Sausage and mash was also ordered, as one does when one is dining in a pub. This was good. It always is when served at a pub though, isn’t it? We also tried the pumpkin tortellini because of it being nearly Halloween. This was rich and creamy with hints of chili and a topping of lovely Parmesan. In fact it was almost as exciting as the posh fish n’ chips, but not quite.

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We did not eat pudding lest we had to rush to A&E for re-stitching. But we toddled off home quite happily and full of gastro sunday lunch. The roasts too looked pretty wonderful, fyi.



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