The Grand Union, Kennington

I was feeling a little fragile last Saturday after yet another visit to the fabulous Soho drinking den that is LAB. So fragile, in fact, that only a hair of the dog would do. And something greasy. Really greasy.

 

Thankfully the burger gods answered my prayers, throwing down a pub mere moments from my humble abode, the blackboard outside screaming of “The Best Burgers in London”. I am pretty sure this wasn’t the result of any actual survey. It probably isn’t even an actual quote. They just made it up, I reckon. But how could I judge, if I had not tried one?   Then I tried one. Here it is. Look at it. It looks quite magical, does it not?

 

grand-union-1

 

Let’s forget, for a moment, that the presentation is an almost embarrassingly blatant copy of new Covent Garden burger emporium Shake Shack, and take it for what it is. A quite nice burger. Two burgers, in fact, sandwiched together like a beautiful Oreo made of meat.

 

As a hat the burgers wore a gloopy blob of American cheese. You know, that wondrous orange paste that tastes mostly of nothing, and definitely not of cheese. The shoddy slop that only ever appears in fast food burgers, where we celebrate wholeheartedly its marvellous shitness. Imagine ordering a cheese sandwich and getting this crap. You’d hurl it back into your server’s face no doubt, overcome with fury. But in burgers we tolerate this cheese-pretender. That is its place.

 

I ordered my burger sans-bun because they serve no gluten free buns here. They call this a naked burger, I believe. Poor naked burgers. It’s enough to break your heart.

 

Gluten Free Naked Burger
Gluten Free Naked Burger

 

Now let me tell you of the chips, these marvellous crinkled fries of scrumptiousness. Look! You get an entire BASKET. You can absolutely fill your boots and probably your bag too. I was given almost THREE HUNDRED* chips. And they taste LOVELY. Not as lovely as Honest Burgers chips, but QUITE LOVELY.

 

grand-union-3

 

*woefully inaccurate estimate

 

The Verdict: Exquisite hangover food, practically perfect in every way. Also the Kennington Grand Union has a roof terrace. Everyone loves a roof terrace. Not the best burgers in London, though. Soz.

 

Gluten Free: No gluten free buns available, but you can get naked burgers.   7/10

 

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