I know nothing about rugby. Nothing. Despite this I quite enjoy watching it. Can’t think why…
On Saturday I trotted off to Wembley to watch it in real life, which is kind of like watching it in HD but with more fresh air and loud noises.
Wembley is brilliant. Watching rugby is brilliant too, mostly because they let you drink while you’re watching it. You’re not trusted to do this if you’re watching football, lest you morph into an ungodly hooligan and start throwing shit at strangers.
We even got giant Saracens flags, to help us remember which team we were supporting. Sometimes music came on, and we all stood up and waved our flags. Then giant inflatable men appeared, and a human in a strange animal-type outfit began dancing. It was delightful, truly.
I must issue a word of warning, however. If you are going to attend some sort of sporting event at Wembley DO NOT ORDER WINE. Whatever they put in those plastic little goblets is so acidic it’ll tear the skin right off your tonsils.
See. I’m a rugby fan now.
Also don’t forget to pack snacks, a torch and a small blanket for the return journey, because THIS is the queue you’re going to have to contend with.