It’s the first of April, a day of hilarity and wonder. A day when we find out which of our friends are the most gullible by playing cruel and unnecessary pranks on them and then laughing loudly into their faces. Maybe thats just me. Anyway the web’s got in on the act this year, conjuring up all manner of rubbish to delight and amaze us. Here are some of the best ones:
This morning saw the grand opening of Hackney’s first borderless cafe. Visiting it is simple. Just download the cafe’s app, pay for a slot at your desired bench, and bring your own coffee. Entirely believable, given that Hackney is the birthplace of all the world’s nonsense. They’ve got cat cafes there, for gods sake. I’m quite sure the vast majority of Dalston-dwellers have already downloaded said app and are currently scratching their perfectly coiffeured heads in confusion. Poor darlings.
A surprisingly popular announcement from the brand behind the world’s worst spread. Vegemite declared the arrival of their NEW Vegemite iDRINK 2.1 via Facebook. Perfect for busy people who love the taste of horror in the morning. Shudder.
Brixton Buzz announced that the area is to be renamed ‘East Clapham,’ in keeping with its newfound trendiness. “With the shifting demographics and changing aspirations of the people now living in Brixton, it’s only right that the area should have a more appropriate name,” commented Tory councillor Chuck Munna. The best bit? The comments. Adrianne Rutherford’s passion is to be admired, not mocked.
From today, all of CERN’s official communication channels are switching to exclusive use of the font Comic Sans. The move comes after weeks of deliberation by CERN management and top web designers about how best to update the image of the laboratory for this, its 60th anniversary year. Well it does make the letters look nice and squishy.
I don’t know about you but I’m sick and tired of looking at real life shit. I want filters. I want everything to look like it’s from the 1970s. And I want fuzzy bits around the edges. And I want to crank up that contrast! Thank you Instagram for making it happen. About time too.
And the worst?
Daybreak, for announcing the arrival of a square egg whilst chuckling incoherently and doing that gross middle aged flirty thing Lorraine and Aled do. Puts me off my cereal, that. Shut up about your square eggs and get off my tely.