Tonight: The Launch of Carnival Del Kerb

Kerb’s bringing the zing and the hurgh back to Friday nights with a brand new event – Carnival Del Kerb. The new night market takes place at The Paperworks, 48-50 Newington Causeway in the heart of grisly Elephant & Castle.




What is it? 

There’ll be Kerb’s spiciest traders, brilliant music collaborations and a load of South London drink choices.


Think Herne Hill hero, Baba G, doing his Biryani Bar, street food’s magic man (and of nomadic status), Angus of The Everybody Love Love Jhal Muri Express, pedalling the Kolkata zing or Kimchinary adding an extra K-Town kick to those famous burritos.


Also ready to sizzle is new trader BBQ DREAMZ and his fearless Fillipino BBQ, South Norwood-er, Pitmaster G of Miss P’s Barbecue firing up his #BadBoyBeefRibs and our first ever jerk trader to hit the KERB. It’s taken a while but we’ve finally found the one that works a scotch bonnet like no one else – introducing Boxed Freshstraight out of Croydon and with jerk pork galore, done on the drum.


Then it’s Sri Lankan heat from Kothu Kothu and family, Vietnamese twists from Bill or Beak and London’s most tropical doughnuts brought to you by the always inventive You Doughnut  girls.


If this isn’t making your face sweat then try the sauces on the counter of Vinn Goute‘s mobile creole kitchen – or taste how far award-winning Crabbie Shack has ramped up the heat on his soft-shell crab burgers. And at the back there, turning to his favourite repose of rogue, is the old KERB does Peckham mucker, Fleisch Mob with his flame-cooked menu: shoulder of pork, sea bream, chuck-eye steak. (Stray beyond him to the apex of The Paperworks and you’re in for an edenic treat, FYI).


Then if you just need to sit the hell down with a drink and some tapas, there is no one better suited than the Donostia Social Club and his pintxos bar on wheels for making this happen.

The music:

To warm everyone up for Carnival weekend and Carnival del KERB, it’s Love Glove and their attic full of 45s – disco, funk, motown, reggae.




The drinks: 

Four bars serving cocktails, London beers, wine, prosecco, shots – all designed to help you eat and then dance better.



Starts Friday 22nd August then the following three Fridays – 5pm-11pm


FREE ENTRY! Bring cash for food. Bars take cards.


Today – Sat 23rd Aug: Free Savoury Ice Cream in Soho

London is bored of delicious ice cream, apparently. That’s why Jacobs (of cream cracker fame) have come up with a novel idea – a savoury ice cream parlour.




That’s right, a whole ice cream parlour stocked exclusively with savoury ice cream. This three day pop-up parlour will include all the favourite Jacobs flavours (twiglets, mini cheddars etc) but in icy, melty form. There’ll also be ‘Blue Cheese & Crackers’ and ‘A Pint of Ale & a Packet of Twiglets’.


Are you brave enough?


P.S. It’s free. Tweet your pics with #snackhappy.



Thurs 21st Aug, 7pm – 9pm,

Fri 22 Aug – Sat 23rd Aug, 2pm – 8pm


Located in a truck parked at:

15 Bateman Street,



London’s Talking Statues

Ever thought London statues were a bit… quiet?


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I’m with you. And so are the people behind new project London’s Talking Statues, which launched today. Iconic statues all over London are coming to life, so lonely passers by can talk to them.


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The project has been organised by Sing London, and will enable people to swipe their phones on a  tag next to statues, after which they’ll receive a call from the famous figure on the plinth.


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Actors have recorded monologues by respected writers, there are loads to try. Have a quick chat with Queen Victoria in the City (as imagined by journalist Elizabeth Day) or tell Brunel all the latest gossip in Paddington (you’ll actually be talking to Hugh Bonneville, though, don’t get too excited).


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Other statues on the London trail include Isaac Newton, Sherlock Holmes, Peter Pan and Dick Whittington’s cat, while the long list of contributors features names such as Jeremy Paxman, Patrick Stewart, Jacqueline Wilson, Anthony Horowitz, Jenna Louise Coleman, Frank Skinner, Simon Russell Beale, Meera Syal and Sanjeev Bhaskar.


You can even write the words for new statues which are yet to find a voice! Enter the London’s Talking Statues competition here. Winners’ chats will be recorded in time for Christmas. Ages I know, but it takes time to bring metal lumps to life, alright.

Want to Sleep in a Shipping Container?

Boxpark has teamed up with The Hoxton, Shoreditch to offer London’s first shipping container hotel – Hox in a Box.


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The pop-up hotel is open for 10 nights only, and has been designed in the same style as The Hoxton’s rooms (i.e. very comfy indeed). There’s duck feather duvets, 300 thread count linen, home ware from Let’s Go Hme, Roberts radios and tea making facilities (obviously).


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Guests also get breakfast delivered from Lyles and dinner at a local restaurant.


P.S. Hox in a Box rooms come without bathrooms, which I’d say was a bit of an issue. Guests will have to use to use BoxPark’s facilities or go to the real Hoxton hotel for a shower…


Hox in a Box is open until 23rd August

London Grump Visits Amsterdam

Famed for both its culture and its slightly dodgier side, Amsterdam is one of those places you have to visit. So I did. Last weekend. On Easyjet. Brave, no?


The capital of the Netherlands is chockablock full of things to see and do, making it just about perfect for a city break weekend. It’s only an hour’s flight from Gatwick too, and my does that time fly by (ha ha ha).


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Stuff We Did that You Should Do Too


The I Amsterdam Sign

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Photo opportunities galore. Prepare to selfie. Instagram everything. No one will judge you here, they are all doing it.


Red Light District

De Wallen, also known as Walletjes or Rosse Buurt

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No one visits Amsterdam without taking a tour of the Red Light District, and a very eye-opening tour it is too. We strolled around the area after dinner to browse the prostitutes prancing about in neon underwear, I don’t know why. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Whilst there you can amuse yourself by playing the well known ‘spot the shifty looking man scuttling out from behind the curtains’ game. Sadly we only saw one. And yes he did look shifty.


Red Light Secrets – Red Light District

This is a tiny yet wonderful museum in the thick of the Red Light District. Here you can wander through make believe brothels and even sit in your own red light window box, for the authentic Amsterdam experience. There’s also a wall of bizarre confessions which you really need to see. I hope they were made up but I fear they were not.


Anne Frank’s House

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Something you must do when visiting Amsterdam. Unfortunately everyone else visiting Amsterdam must do it too, which is probably the cause of the biggest queue I’ve ever seen in my LIFE. It stretches through entire streets, like a giant shrieking snake full of screaming children and grumbling teenagers. We reached the end of the queue to find a four year old child named Oscar being asked by his ADULT parents if he felt like queuing up for the rest of his life so he could see Anne Frank’s House. Oscar said no, wise despite his diminutive size and leaking nose. I said no, too. But I did see the outside of the building so you know, it’s sort of the same. If you are planning a visit be sure to bring sustenance, you’re going to need it.


The Flower Market

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Another thing you are supposed to do. I’m not really sure why. The flower market is a series of floating stalls on the canal selling millions upon millions of tulips and accompanying tat to tourists. Not hugely exciting, but ok if you’re wandering past anyway.


The Torture Museum, Damrak 33


This is next to the disappointing flower market, and it is, in true Amsterdam style, completely weird. The place is done up like the London Dungeon and full of grisly implements. Do not sit on the guillotine, you could lose your head.


Sex Museum, Venustempel

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Probably the only thing in Amsterdam weirder than the Torture Museum. You must go, they’ve got flashing mannequins.


Cheese Shopping – Everywhere


These people love their cheese. There’s a cheese shop on every street. Cheese shops are like the Dutch version of Pret. Make sure you get some gouda, it comes in ALL flavours. We got pesto, and upon opening realised the cheese was a disturbing shade of green. Tastes nice though.


Coffee Houses – Everywhere

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There’s no coffee here. If you want coffee you need to go to a café instead. This is very important.


Souvenir Shopping – In the big square where the backpacks congregate

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All souvenir shops in Amsterdam seem to have a secret yet not really that secret back room stocking frankly alarming produce. One we found was full of weed plants, and books about how to grow weed at home. Most sell ornate glass bongs designed to be smashed to pieces on the way home. Another, for no reason at all, stocked a wide variety of tacky souvenirs and yet also STAB VESTS and TERRIFYING KNIVES. Beware of the souvenir shops.


Street Art – Everywhere


Amsterdam is home to some of the world’s finest street art, so keep your eyes peeled as you wander around. This one’s my favourite – anything featuring ET rates highly in my book.




After this I endured what I can only describe as the worst possible journey anyone has EVER had, but I’ll tell you all about that another day.


Gluten Free Cake Delivery!

Bespoke cake specialists Bakerdays know that no special occasion is complete without cake – a sentiment I’m sure you’ll agree with. But all too often gluten free folk are left out of the great ceremony of the cake… and that’s got to change.


Thankfully Bakerdays are leading the way – they now do gluten free cakes which can be fully customised according to your most obscure gluten free wishes. They do One Direction cakes too…


You can get little ones sent through the post, and they even fit through your letterbox, so you can prance about with a big old smile on your face all day knowing that CAKE awaits when you get home.

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Here’s a Bakerdays gluten free cake specially designed for grumps; it’s a beautiful thing. And it’s not just beautiful – it actually tastes great too. Not dry, not crumbly, in fact its all things a good cake should be. And it comes with oodles of icing and jam!

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All Bakerdays letterbox cakes come with candles and balloons, and they taste a whole lot better than a birthday card. If you want something a bit bigger though Bakerdays offer a huge range of sizes – serving up to SIXTY people. Or a few very greedy ones.

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Order before 2pm to get your cake the very next day. A gluten free letterbox cake will set you back £17.99. Dairy free cakes are available too.


Cakes by post. It’s the future.

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Bakerdays website:

World’s First Knitted Sweet Shop Now Open

London’s got a brand new corner shop, but this one’s not like the others. Created by Lucy Sparrow, this shop is entirely crafted from felt. Every single item in the world’s first knitted sweet shop has been meticulously sewn, stuffed and priced by Lucy over the past seven months to made one cuddly corner shop!


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Where can you find it? I’ll give you three guesses…


Yeah obviously it’s in Bethnal Green. You guessed it, I’m sure you did.


Its housed within what was, until recently, a disused commercial space on Wellington Row. And there’s a nice bit to the project too, 12 community making workshops, developed in collaboration with local groups, enrol the socially excluded, and non-art audiences in shared-making activities as part of the installation. A live ‘felt cam’ will stream all the events too, meaning even if you can’t be in the cornershop you can see what is going on.

Its all about building social skills and encouraging reflection on the changing politics of consumption on the high street… including, of course, the sad demise of the corner shop.


The installation all started with a Kickstarter campaign to raise £2,000. And now it’s open, so head over to Wellington Row for a cornershop experience like no other. You can even buy the knitted merchandise!


Open until Sunday 31st August

Daily from 10am to 7pm

19 Wellington Row,


E2 7BB

The Cornershop Blog:

The irrelevant musings of a grumbling Londoner – Reviewing restaurants, bars, events, TV, films and more…