Tag Archives: review

The Delaunay, Strand

The Delaunay opened its doors in 2012, the latest glitzy London restaurant from two of the nation’s most accomplished restauranteurs, Jeremy King and Chris Corbin.

 

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Other than a slightly more relaxed atmosphere, The Delaunay is almost identical to its King and Corbin predecessor, The Wolseley. Decor is once again inspired by Grand European cafés of Vienna, Zurich and Budapest, cafes which I can only assume are infinitely more glamorous than our shoddy greasy spoons.

 

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The end result is a David Collins-designed wonder – dark green leather seating, many a piece of polished brass, antique mirrors and acres upon acres of marble so shiny you could eat your dinner off of it.

 

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The menu here is an all-day one, but a posh all-day one, you understand. There’s Soups, Starters, Eggs, Weiners, Crustacea and Caviar, Plats du Jours, Fish, Schnizels, Entrées, Savouries, Cakes and Coupés. There’s also Afternoon Tea. And breakfast! That’s what we came for…

 

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The breakfast menu is a piece of parchment almost a mile long, complete with almost every kind of breakfast you could possibly want or need. These range from more traditional choices like the good old full English to pancakes, waffles, granola and viennoiserie.

 

Then of course there are slightly more unusual options such as the Viennese breakfast, a kind of all you can eat breakfast buffet inspired dish of cold meat, egg and a big old pretzel. You can also have eggs cooked in any way you can dream up, so go on… be creative.

 

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They also serve bowls of coffee. This, one assumes, is how people drink coffee in Europe. The burns must be appalling.

 

Almost the entire table opted for smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, presumably reassured by the alliteration – always the sign of a good meal, I find.

 

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I, being a rebel, went with a fresh fruit salad, accompanied by camomile tea and Champagne. We were celebrating, I’d like to add. I don’t breakfast on Champagne every day, much as I’d like to.

 

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The fruit salad was delicious, and came in a small bucket you could probably swim in, if you felt like it.

 

Smoked salmon and scrambled eggs received much applause from the table, its deliciousness apparently accentuated by the many gallons of butter used in the eggs.

 

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If you do visit beyond the realms of breakfast time take a look at the Coupé menu and you’ll find the most delectable little tribute to Lucian Freud – The Wolseley’s biggest fan. He ate there every night. I kid you not. Every single night. He had his own table. And what did he get in return? An ice cream. It’s a threesome of hazelnut, almond and pistachio ice-cream on a Freudian couch with whipped cream and butterscotch sauce. Eat it.

 

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The Verdict: A brilliant breakfast spot in a great central location. Almost as good as The Wolseley, but in terms of atmosphere and service The Wolseley just about wins.

 

8/10

£££

 

The Delaunay Website: thedelaunay.com

The Delaunay on Urbanspoon

Square Meal

TV: I Wanna Marry Harry

Every so often I come across a TV programme so utterly distressing it envelops me in a little fuzzy cloud of gloom.

 

The last time this happened it was the result of a troop of fake-tanned nitwits marching about proclaiming themselves to be representatives of Essex. A county which, I’ll have you know, is not exclusively inhabited by people so startlingly stupid they deserved to be chucked head first into a well.

 

But it’s happened again. And this time I fear the situation may be even worse…

 

You see, it was brought to my attention last week that a programme exists entitled “I Wanna Marry Harry”.

 

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The title itself does not cause much of a problem, after all Harry may be a nice chap, deserving of such affections. But he isn’t. Harry is a pretend Prince Harry. He is a LIAR and a CHEAT.

 

And the girls? They want to marry Prince Harry. They want to marry him so badly that they are willing to cast aside any doubt they may have had that Prince Harry would star in a low-budget US reality TV show in order to secure himself a worthy wife.

 

So off they trot, this group of American ladies, to stay in a giant plastic mansion made of lies as they attempt to win over pseudo-Harry and hop on the next plane to England to take their rightful place on the Buckingham Palace balcony.

 

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In order to convince this troop of nitwits of his Royal status, the pretend-Harry invited them to partake in a sort of strange dance-off, in which he pranced around a dance floor, high on deceit and the soon-to-be shattered dreams of his wannabe Princesses. Only Royal people can dance, you see.

 

Confirming this fact, the wannabe Princesses flailed around the dance floor overcome by nervousness or perhaps suffering seizures of some kind or another. They tripped on his Royal toes and made buffoons of themselves. Then they got sad at their lack of self-worth and attempted to impress him with some toothy grinning. The sheer desperation was enough to move me to tears.

 

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And do you know the worst bit? I watched this for an HOUR. There’s an entire SERIES of this claptrap. You can waste whole days of your LIFE watching it. Days upon DAYS of the innermost thoughts of people so thick it’s a wonder that they’ve managed to get out of bed and dress themselves without supervision.

 

I can’t wait for the next episode.

Why No One Should Ever Go To Walkabout

A sort of village hall come student union, Walkabout is the undisputed king of shit nights out. Like a weeping sore on the banks of the Thames, this miserable chamber of inebriation is immediately recognisable by its garish yellow and green logo, which has the audacity to suggest Australia has actually endorsed it. 

 

Continue reading Why No One Should Ever Go To Walkabout

Aqua Shard at The Shard

The 32nd floor of London’s highest glassy wonder is home to Aqua Shard, a restaurant & bar serving the best of British cuisine alongside ridiculous views over the capital.

 

Enter via the robot lift (you don’t have to push the buttons.. it just knows you’re there..) and you’ll find yourself in an impressive three-storey high atrium bar, way up high above the streets of London.

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We stopped for a glass of Champagne and were surprised to find the prices weren’t as bone-crushingly expensive as we’d expected them to be. You can get a bottle of wine (Pe Branco, Herdade do Esporao, Portugal for £24 here… but of course if you’re there for a special occasion there are many more options!

 

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And check out those views…

 

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Aqua Shard is open for breakfast, brunch, lunch and dinner. A quintessentially British menu includes dishes like grilled sea bass and rare breed roasts, as well as puddings like fig tart and buttermilk panna cotta. Aqua Shard also serves afternoon tea, available Monday – Friday 3.00pm – 5.00pm. A classic afternoon tea will set you back £34.50, or the Champers variety is £45.

 

View all the menus here, or click here to make a booking.

 

Restaurant

Open Monday to Sunday

Breakfast:

7-10.30am Monday to Friday

9.00-10.00am Saturday and Sunday

Lunch:

12-2.45pm Monday to Friday

Brunch:

11am-3.30pm Saturday and Sunday

Afternoon Tea: 3-5pm Monday to Friday

Dinner:

6-10.45pm Monday to Sunday

 

Bar

12pm-1am Monday to Sunday

The bar operates on a walk in basis only, no reservations are taken. Entry is subject to capacity.

Aqua Shard
Level 31,
The Shard
31 St Thomas Street
London
SE1 9RY

+44 (0)20 3011 1256

Square Meal

Balthazar, Covent Garden

Balthazar is the London brand of Keith McNally’s New York restaurant; it opened its doors for the very first time in 2013. Now I haven’t actually seen the New York version but rumour has it the Covent Garden outpost is exactly the same. Like EXACTLY.

Continue reading Balthazar, Covent Garden